Hurry! Whilst Stocks Last!

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Are you tired of hoovering?

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Do you wish you could get somebody else to do it for you?

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Here at jb*jb, we understand the coma-like state that hoovering can induce, so we're offering you this once in a lifetime opportunity to build your very own

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Cowboy-Vac!

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. .Simply plug the cowboy attachment into your ordinary household hoover and watch it whizz through your hoovering, whilst you sit back in a leisurely manner admiring its enthusiasm.

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To create your very own cowboy-vac, simply take one small child

(we recommend no younger than six otherwise the enthusiasm level in your model can diminish before the hoovering is complete).

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Dress your child in mis-matched stripy clothing (including stripy pants) and for that finishing touch add a cowboy hat.

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You could replace the cowboy hat with a tiara for the girl version, but we must stress, we have not tested the alternative female model.

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* Please note, an elderly dog lying in a supine manner on the floor is not essential to the success of your cowboy-vac.

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Have fun with your brand-spanking new alternative to hoovering the carpet yourself!

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And don't forget to keep an eye out for our next exciting new product :

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The Pirate-Duster!

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which is still undergoing testing at the moment!

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Forget The Barkeeper, It's MY Friend Now....

It's that time of year again...

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The time when I think to myself "Oh God, I can't possibly cook christmas dinner in that oven. It's filthy!"

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The oven door was no longer see-through.

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It was more of a sticky, brown, burnt-on gloop.

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Raiding my *ahem* cleaning cupboard, I stumbled across this

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Which I normally use to *ahem* clean the sink with.

It claims to remove tough household stains.

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"Well you can't get much tougher than burnt-on oven grime" I thought and had a go.

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Do you know what?

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It simply wiped off.

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Simple as that - easy as pie.

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And now for the first time in history, I am proud to show off my CLEAN oven door.

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I just wish I could improve my cooking as easily!

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EDIT : I bought mine from my supermarket. Happy cleaning!

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Disclaimer : for those of you worried I am using harmful chemicals and killing the planet - rest assured it only happens once a year.

We're Mostly In A Mess

Here are the results to August's question,

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"How many times do you say "oh for flips' sake it was in my hand a minute ago!"?

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"Umm, never, I'm quite tidy actually" = 1 person (I bet that was my mum!)

"0 - 5 times a month" = 2 people (well aren't you the tidy ones?)

"0 - 5 times a week" = 5 people (nice to see you can cope with a bit of mess)

"I'm not exaggerating, it's at least 18,000 times a day" = 14 people

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(Wahey! Let's revel in the mess!)

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I'm so glad I'm not the only one who spends half an hour looking for things that I had in my hand literally 3 seconds ago!

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A new question for September is on the sidebar.

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Looking for a tidy house? You've come to the wrong blog!

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Box Of Treats!

Do you remember I took part in imagingermonkey's Russian Doll Swap and that my partner was Lindsey.

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Well I received my swap presents on Friday.

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Inside was a whole host of pink treats made by Lindsey.

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The funky cow toadstool is just bonkers!

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And the star of the show was this beautiful hand-sewn felt Russian Doll.

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I love the tiny star buttons Lindsey has used.

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And I'm in love with the tiny stitch detail on the flower...
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These were also in the box although I'm not really sure what they are for?
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Apparantely you use them when you do your housework?

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Missing from the photograph is a dinky cupcake pin-cushion, but that has already made it's way into my workroom and is currently buried somewhere under a mountain of fabric.

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Oh. And also missing from the picture is a bag of pink sweets.

C'mon ... they didn't last five minutes from opening the box!

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Thank you so much Lindsey - and don't worry, there's no such thing as "too much pink" !

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Formula One Widow

Mr Jelly is a BIG Formula One fan.

He's not bothered about football (hooray)

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He has no interest in cricket (double-hooray)

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But life isn't worth living if he misses any Formula One grand-prix action and every year he makes his annual pilgrimage to his Mecca ... Silverstone circuit.

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So this weekend saw him camping in a field (in the rain), getting up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning (in the rain), queuing to be let in to the circuit (in the rain) and waiting an endless amount of time for anything to happen (in the rain).

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I did manage to catch sight of him in the crowd on the tv.

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Can you see him?

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No?

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Okay, let's have an extreme close up ....

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I, in the meantime, have been doing some of this:

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Eating lots of this:

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Did a bit of this:

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Spent quite a lot of time in these:

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Watched plenty of him:

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And did absolutely none of this:
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So we're both happy in our little spots of paradise!

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What Do I Win?

Having seen the 1930's Housewife Test results on quite a few ladies' blogs, I decided to take the plunge and have a go myself.
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You must understand that I have to look up the word "housework" in the dictionary from time to time, just to check what the word means.
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However, I am a little troubled by my result :

1 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

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I can only assume it had something to do with answering 'yes' to these questions :
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Fails to wash top of milk bottle before opening it.
Often late for appointments.
Is more than 15 pounds overweight.
Serves too much from tin cans or the delicatessen store
Wears red nail polish.
Wears pajamas while cooking.
Tells risque or vulgar stories.

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Oh well ... it's probably just as well I live in the Naughty Noughties then!
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Cornishware Cushions

As well as the chocolate cupcake apron order I received this week, I also received a request to make some gingham cushions for a kitchen to match Cornishware China..

I decided 1 inch gingham (rather than 1/8 gingham) was more suitable for a kitchen and would match the large stripes. Hopefully, I have managed to match the blues!

I had a busy day yesterday getting all my stock priced and boxed ready for the lady's shopping evening tonight as well as a large craft fair on Saturday.

So today I have to tidy the carnage/mess/path of destruction I created yesterday and get the house into a habitable condition.

Now, has anyone seen the instruction manual for the sucky-hoover thing....?!

Mad For Bags

With only 2 orders outstanding because I'm waiting for a delivery of some fabric, I decided to have an indulgent day today and make some products for fun (who shouted "housework" from the back?)

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It was a real pleasure to rifle through my drawers of fabric mixing them together as well as playing with my buttons and ribbons stash.

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In the end, these are the bags I made:

To see more photos, please click here.

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Sue also finished some more hats over the weekend. Here they are being modelled by "Elspeth the Head", only they are slightly too big for her as she is just a slip of a girl, and these hats are made for adults! Still, it's easier to take a photograph of them on her than get a real-life model!

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With warmer weather forecast for tomorrow and the rest of the week, I may continue in my self-indulgence and get out into the garden (again, who shouted "housework"?)

These are some of the blossom trees that are in Granny and Grandad's garden and every year they look beautiful for a couple of days before they get pelted by the April showers.

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Now I'm just off to look up the word "housework" in the dictionary.......